This poem was read out on SAGA radio as ‘Poem of the Month’. It was also published in an anthology of Derbyshire poets.
LOSING MY MEMORY (Or IT for the Elderly)
I’ve just switched on my computer
As I do just about every day
But it told me I’ve just lost some memory
Well, that’s not a nice thing to say!
I’m old, but how does it know that?
I try to keep up with technology.
To be so remiss, when I log on like this
I think deserves an apology.
I’m trying to learn IT language,
Must say it’s a bit of a job
But I manage quite well, I can buy and sell
And I even make a few bob.
But I think I’m too old for this caper
‘Silver Surfer’ is all very well
And I’ll have to re-learn English
Because that’s all changed as well.
It’s just told me I’ve got a virus
Well, that’s funny, I don’t feel ill
But just to be sure, I’ll look in the drawer
And see if I’ve got the right pill.
The virus I’ve got is a “Blaster”
I said, ‘there’s no need to swear!’
But Microsoft told me it’s deadly
So I’d better proceed with care.
Somebody gave me a firewall
Though I’m not expecting a fire
But they seemed to think it was vital
So I’ll light the blue touch and retire.